Rita’s Column

Opening a New Door in Your Life!

Are you ready to open a previously closed door to a new life adventure, career, or relationship? Do you lack the confidence to try for a new or long-time business or personal goal, the one you may have wanted since way back in junior high? Do you minimize your own skills and abilities by comparing what you believe are “liabilities” to other people’s “assets”? Instead, nourish and feed all of the wonderful attributes that YOU possess. If someone’s years of experience, looks, youth, or bank account intimidate you from trying for that still-unfulfilled goal, focus on all of your attributes like your contagious enthusiasm, healthy humility, passion for excellence, and superb people skills that far surpass what he or she has to offer. People are often hired for a particular job more often due to their personality and attitude than their set of technical skills. Why? Technical skills can be taught, but changing a potential employee’s outlook on life and thought processes may be too challenging for an employer to gamble on.

Even if your present talent or material possessions are not enough to get you to the finish line, determine what the first thing is you need to change/add/delete…people, places, things. Learn what steps are necessary to complete your desired goal. The end result? Flourishing in the career you always dreamed of, marrying a quality person like you truly deserve, starting a civic organization that stokes a fire down in your soul, or whatever else you love. For some, it may not be a career or marriage, but fulfilling a creative need, like taking art or dance classes, joining a gym, attending interesting seminars, meeting with a group of like-minded individuals who bring more joy into life, mentoring a struggling student, volunteering at a hospital or library, taking some “me” time at a spa, or any number of little experiences that can make life more enjoyable. Everyone needs and deserves time for themselves.

Always keep in mind, if you allow the same limiting thoughts to be entertained, you cannot expect to produce anything differently from what you have experienced in life up until now. Perhaps it is time to assess what changes can be made in your current life or business plan. How can you increase your knowledge? How can you refine your image and communication skills? What local groups and online social media can you become active in to connect with others passionate about your same dreams and goals? Generational differences? Everyone can all learn valuable lessons and gain tremendously helpful insight from the other generations while valuing the camaraderie and support of our own generation.

     It is NEVER too late to reinvent yourself! It is NEVER too late to start over no matter what has happened to you! Determine that your new life starts today! Remember the old saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always had.” What holds you back? Are you over committed trying to make everyone else happy? You know what you need! Rehearse your new role (the one you can vividly create in your mind), take the first constructive step (taking a class, joining a beneficial new organization, releasing negative people who hinder your, enhancing your appearance…you get the idea). Okay, now keep the momentum going with the next step and continue moving forward!

Glinda: You’ve Always Had the Power!

 You’ve always had the power, even when you don’t feel powerful. You just had to learn it for yourself.  Glinda, Wizard of Oz.

Affirmation:  “Today, I focus on looking within, allowing God’s abilities and strength to begin pouring out of me!”

Do you feel like you have you lost your power/energy/resources physically, mentally, emotionally? It is still within you! You’ve already been equipped with all you need to accomplish your calling. Determine if any self-limiting beliefs (can’t, won’t, afraid, broke) have hindered your success.

Here’s a good life lesson from the buzzard. In a pen that is 6’ x 8’ and entirely open at the top, the buzzard, in spite of its ability to fly, will remain an absolute captive of its circumstances. Why? A buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10-12 feet. Without space to run, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small cage even though the top is open for it to fly away.  How sad that its misbeliefs about its own abilities will keep it stuck! The buzzard was free to soar but did not even try!

Look at your life. Like the buzzard, are limiting thoughts and viewpoints keeping you bound even though the door is wide open for takeoff? If you’re stuck, change your approach and remember… “I get up, I walk, I fall down—meanwhile, I keep dancing!”  (author unknown).

REMEMBER, YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL TO EVERYONE YOU MEET. WHAT ARE YOU MODELING?

 

 

 

 

Rita Rocker

 

Life is like a flower–what’s on your package?

Our lives resemble shopping for flowers – photographs on the seed packages. Not show picture of what the seeds look like in their current state, as dark, tiny, ugly seeds that do not showcase their true beauty and potential. The package shows the magnificent end result.

Given the right nutrients and care, it will blossom into a vibrant and delightful creation. You look in the mirrornever see yourself as the seed–but as you truly are–a child of God’s magnificence! Allow His seed inside you to grow, and only focus on the lovely picture of what you can become!

Associating with healthy, positive individuals from organizations that have integrity – helps us grow and gain a new perspective – Stretching muscles for new ideas that will open up healthy new doors.

Do things different from what normally do, time with different people, go places you normally don’t go (free art exhibit, local chamber event…).

Change things up! Stoke your fire even if you’re tired!  Push hard to continuing birthing your dream!

 

What’s in the Shopping Cart of Your Life?

How is life going for you? Good? Great? Troublesome? Frustrating? Better than ever? Depending on your answer, here are a few quick questions to ask yourself. First of all: What Are You Putting in Your Shopping Cart of Life?

What Are You Putting in Your Shopping Cart of Life? Are they healthy lifestyle choices that are good for you or unhealthy people, places and things? Affirmation: “Today I assess where I am in life, what is good for me and what is a hindrance. I choose taking whatever steps necessary to fill my cart to overflowing with joy and abundance.”

 Just like reading labels can help steer you away from of unhealthy food and drink, putting clear labels (helpful, hurtful, fun, depressing, energizing) on habits and relationships can also steer you to choices that nourish you and give you the strength and endurance to rise and thrive!

Ask yourself these questions. Do the feelings and habits I am hanging on to:

  • Serve any worthwhile purpose for me? For my family? For my career?
  • Help me move forward with my goals? Hold me back in an unhappy comfort zone? In which case, what do you need to do to switch to a life-enhancing zone?
  • Work in my favor in any way? Why or why not? Take the time to really think about this and it will amaze you what you can discover.

If your emotions, thoughts, self-talk, life choices (relationships, jobs, activities) do not help you transform and move forward, move them to the dumpster and head to the aisles (new positive choices) with the “good stuff” you truly deserve. What steps can you focus on next to improve your life? Begin the process with small steps, one at a time, to get your mind moving in a new direction.Block your rear-view mirror!

Let’s sing, dance and ride the roller coaster of life in high gear. Choose to live life to the fullest. Start now, right where you are, and make a brand new ending to the story of your life!

Stand Up, Sit Down–Fight, Fight, Fight

Affirmation: If you fall seven times…stand up eight! “When I get knocked down in life, getting up and moving forward is my choice and I’m taking it!”      

Remember the a Weeble dolls, the ones with the rounded bottoms that always bounced back up when they were pushed down? Just like those Weebles, you may get knocked down when times get rough but you cannot fall flat!! You can conquer your fears and rise again if you trust God and continue taking positive steps each day, even if it is just one little change or addition to what you normally do.

  • Imagine yourself doing what you love even though you have no idea how you will achieve your goal. Visualize yourself doing it anyway.
  • See yourself with your new partner, new career, thriving in a new city, several dress sizes smaller, or whatever you heart’s desire is.
  • Smile (you can actually put one on your face even when you don’t feel like it and it will immediately make you feel better). You can tell yourself to smile several times a day, just to practice until it becomes a routine). Get some form of exercise or movement each day, even if it’s only for a few minutes, and enjoy how you feel afterwards. Make an effort to meet new friends/clients.  Enjoy more fellowship and at least one hobby. Spend time every day creating the picture of your new life.
  • Be sure you speak in the present tense when you say your affirmations See it now!

Image Builder Rapid Results Course

 Learn Powerful, Effective Life & Career Transforming Techniques to Start Using Immediately…Let these keys unlock your potential and last a lifetime!  

Six hours of awesome!!          

Week #1: The Power of Transformation:

Reinventing Your Life & Shifting Your Mind

You will leave excited to take your next life step after this interactive class on self-esteem/self-image, exercises to transform situations and thought patterns, hit a few “reset” buttons and soar!

You’re a Knockout!

This is a blast! Appearance, color and body analysis/shaping, makeup techniques, hair care (many products from the kitchen cupboard). Personal & career wardrobe! Special sections for men and women.

Week #2: You, the Picture of Success!!

 Branding Yourself for Success!

You, the powerful communicator. Promote yourself as a “skills merchant” to increase your career opportunities. Learn how to build a powerful brand and make a lasting impression with all socio-economic levels and age groups. Build and practice confident presentation and interviewing skills. Aren’t you impressive!

End result?? Strut Your Stuff & Rock Your World!

Join us for these fun, interactive classes that answer all your questions, then apply what you learned and create your new success package to start using immediately — one that will last a lifetime!

When: Your date and time

Where: Bellevue University OR your location

Time: 6:00 – 9:00 p.m. (times are adjustable!!!)

Special Introductory One-time Offer: $95

Life Investment: Priceless. Includes Participant Guides for all classes.

Light refreshments. Interactive sessions. Life changer!!

 REGISTRATION REQUIRED!   Contact Rita at rita@transformationacademy.com

Rita Rocker – international published author, speaker, trainer, consultant

www.transformationacademy.com402-968-3250rita@transformationacademy.com

 

 

 

Girls Night Out – Healthy Beauty & Fun!!!!

       Girls Night Out!

Join Rita and Michele Strom, national image consultant and makeup artist and I at a really fun and educational Beautycounter event. No toxic fillers or chemicals…only pure goodness is all that enters your system through your skin! You can play and experience the difference with awesome (anti-aging) skincare and try the glowing makeup that truly makes a difference!!

        Bring your friends and learn everything this amazing product line has to offer! Space is limited so please RSVP today! Wine and refreshments!!!! Woohoo!   

 

 

Business Cards: Get Them Asking for Yours!

You walk into a business networking event and your immediate instinct is to hand people your business card in order to build quick rapport and promote your business. Wait! Don’t do it yet! Why? They did not ask for it.

Why is that so important? What happens when we hand out our business card before they ask? It immediately becomes a one-sided conversation, announcing “This is what “I” am doing and I want your business” even though I do not know who they are and what you really want, like and need. This might boost our egos, but it is not good for creating and building new relationships. Although most people will politely accept the card, they will rarely call unless they feel some sort of connection was made with you during your first brief encounter.

What prompts you to keep someone’s card and actually connect with them later? Was it because they asked about you, your interests, and how they could help meet your needs? What do you think about earning the right to be in their contact list? That way, you will be asked for your business card, which is more preferred and productive. As a result of your extra time and effort, people are much more apt to keep your card for future reference rather than tossing it in the circular file with other unsolicited cards. Putting the other person in the spotlight instead of yourself is a smart way to attract new friendships and business relationships.

Another key ingredient is to actively listen. It is common for people to gravitate to those who are genuinely interested in their plans, problems, and values. If you encourage them to talk, it will often prompt them to reciprocate and ask “What do you do?” That is a clear cue to hand them your business card while briefly answering their question. When you “ask” for their card first, it opens the door to give them yours in return. Try a simple reply like “That sounds like an excellent product– let’s be sure we stay in touch. May I have your business card?” Usually, this prompts them to say “Sure, and May I have one of yours?” If they do not ask for your card at that point, save it for someone who truly wants to make a positive connection? Not everyone will want to receive a card. That is okay. It is quality, not quantity.

You can plan a little further by asking permission to contact them next week, next month, or whatever time seems appropriate. This allows you to take the first step in building a more substantial relationship. Make it a habit to follow up with a personal note, including your business card in the same envelope, for those associations you really do want to grow. Lastly, since you found out something that the individual is interested in or needs, be sure to send any relevant articles or names of others who would be excellent connections for them. They will see that you are not just interested in making a sale but in helping them achieve their goals as well. Word gets out that YOU are a quality, caring and knowledgeable person people should get to know!

Want to know more how to market yourself for success, check out the book A Guide to Marketing Yourself for Success

The Meet & Greet – You Had Me From Hello!

As we know, that first impression is made in as little as seven seconds when people are checking us out physically (demeanor,handshake appearance, our-non-verbal signals) which makes it more difficult for someone to remember our names if given immediately. They haven’t quite started “listening” yet. Before we have said a word, judgments can start forming about our own self-image, outlook on life, economic and educational levels, social position, trustworthiness and future success. Sound like a bit much? Yes. Has research proven this to be true? Yes. Sigh! Here are a few quick tips to keep the conversation going in a relationship-building manner:

At business social functions, shyness may be misunderstood as being socially unskilled so try introducing yourself to as many people as possible. Even if you really don’t want to be there, stay at least a half hour and make the rounds before leaving. This can keep you in the winner’s circle by exhibiting a team player attitude and is beneficial for your work and social relationships.

Why is it so hard to remember someone’s name? As mentioned above, during the first seven seconds we meet someone, we are checking them out visually (looking at their clothing (wow, nice, organized or oh no), hair (just get out of bed?), grooming (gardening this morning?) or a myriad of other things) before we start listening…so we aren’t really hearing them! The best way to introduce yourself, particularly in a large group of people you do not know where you have about ten seconds to stand up and sit down, is to say 1) what you do, 2) for whom, 3) then your name.  Example:  Hi. I provide rapid results programs in professional communication, image and career development with Transformation Academy. My name is Rita…Rocker!  Take a slight pause between your first and last name, adding emphasis (giving a little punch) to your last name. By then, the person should be more focused on listening to you versus giving you the visual once-over.

When shaking hands: Women usually offer their hand first but either gender is welcome to initiate the universal greeting of the handshake. Take the other person’s hand with medium pressure, palm to palm, in a vertical hold and pump 2-3 times, leaning slightly forward. If you can tell what color their eyes are when shaking hands, you have completely connected. If someone takes your hand and turns it horizontally (yes, that really happens), just keep smiling and turn it up in a vertical hold again.That keeps you on a more “psychologically” level playing field! Turning your hand horizontally is a silent signal saying they have “the upper hand” and seek to control the direction the conversation will go. Now, go out and enjoy networking. It’s a wonderful way to build new relationships! And one more thing…if you’re shy, seek out those standing alone. They will welcome you gladly.

While talking, stand approximately 18? from them in order to respect their “space.” Only hold your beverage in your left hand so the right one is free to give your impressive handshake. Find out what “they” do first. Ask for their business card first (if you want to give them yours). Find out what kind of connections they are seeking to enhance their business or lives. Erect, positive, confident and engaged demeanor and posture goes a long way in making lasting relationships. Go for it!!

Rita Rocker, International author, speaker, consultant, Transformation Academy, LLC

RISING ABOVE THE COMPETITION – Awesomeness Alert!

You Can RISE ABOVE YOUR COMPETITION…with behaviors that build leadership, confidence, class and authority.

In today’s competitive business environment, good sense and everyday manners can make the difference between getting ahead and being left behind. Why? Because all forms of etiquette affect others…including clients, colleagues, suppliers and friends.

Many colleges teach ethics, but few teach business etiquette. As objective as many of us like to feel that we are, the fact is that even in business relationships, we still judge people by how they act, speak, look and write.

Our outward appearance, demeanor and ability to communicate directly affects our on- and off-the-job performance. It also differentiates us from the competition– often the defining reason one person is chosen over another.

Business Etiquette enables us to have confidence in variety of settings with people from all walks of life, whether in meetings, sales calls, the golf course, or dining.

A Professional Image and manner gives us a psychological advantage over how people see us.They may think “if you care that much about yourself, manner, communication skills and demeanor, I feel comfortable that you will also take good care of my business too.  Good manners grease the wheels of society and  make people want to know us better.

Remember, in that first seven seconds of meeting someone, they are making numerous judgments about us, whether correct or not. They make assessments about our self-esteem, outlook on life, economic and educational levels, trustworthiness, social position and our future success. In my next video, I’ll show you just how powerful those signals can be!

Oh, those silent signals are speaking so loudly!

Kinesics is the study of body language and non-verbal communication pioneered in the 1950’s. Researchers discovered powerful signals displayed in the business world. Non-verbal signals are the most honest (unconscious) form of communications because they show what is really on our mind regardless of what is coming out of our mouth. Reading these signals helps us form our responses. Example: If someone says something nice but their body is stiff or their eyes show frustration or anger, everything is NOT fine. Follow up; with a question such as “You seem concerned. Please tell me how you feel/what you’re thinking/your ideas, etc.”

Communications – 55% of your message is non-verbal ( how you look, act, sit stand, enter a room, posture, movements & gestures, handshake, what do with hands).  38% is comprised of the quality of your voice (expression, pitch & tone). Studies throughout the years have shown, surprisingly, that only about 7% of our message interpretation is the actual words used. Body signals and HOW we say it have incredible power (or not, depending on what we do with our appearance, mannerisms and tone).

Benefits Giving positive, confident and engaged signals makes a big impact towards increasing sales, making you more approachable and believable. Negative signals (frustration, angst, control, indifference) repel people, and give them the impression you may not be as effective or honest as what they want/need in order to build a relationship with. Use their signals consciously to read what other’s are REALLY saying to help frame your response. Words should match body language. Pay attention to sudden changes in posture, expression or other cues. Why? Sudden change in movement usually show that you hit a nerve so go back and think about what was just said and…either explain it again…or change directions.

Different cultures & countries – The same gesture may have an entirely different meaning to someone from another country. A positive signal in one country may be vulgar in another. Use caution and WATCH their reactions carefully, adjusting as necessary.

By Watching job candidate or business prospect – you can often discern how aggressive they really are, whether they willcome across as obnoxious or personable, shy or feels inferior to others.…and most importantly, their attitude and motivation.

Entice individuals to hire or buy from you, not repel. When someone enters a room, it can color the meeting indelibly before a single word is spoken (energetic & lively, angry w/dark cloud, pleasant yet serious & professional). Is someone saying “yes” but closing themselves up with a foot bounding towards door? Profile! It works!

Only part of message – (crossed arms – cold? Or defensive.  If teemed with lack of eye contact, they are distancing selves. Slamming the door shut says they are unhappy, just not why! Non-verbal signals can’t solve problems or sell product by themselves so follow up with a verbal query, especially if there is a SUDDEN change in demeanor. Reading body signals really works!

My next blog will discuss powerful techniques to communicate positively and professionally!

Rita Rocker – Personal and career transformation consultant and rapid results coach, international author, national speaker, Transformation Academy