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There’s No Such Thing as “Can’t” (#1)

Many of us have been experiencing one setback after another in our personal and professional lives.  Sometimes, unkind or discouraging words said to us as children can leave such a deep scar in our hearts and minds that we don’t know what to do but live down to the self-fulfilling prophecy that someone bestowed on us.  Since discouragement likes to rear its ugly head and keep us from achieving our purpose, I will share powerful examples with you of individuals who overcame debilitating odds and changed the “I can’t” to “I can and I will!”

I’d like to encourage you that with perseverance, you CAN do so much more.  If these individuals I write about can accomplish their dreams and overcome major challenges, who are we not to accomplish ours?

Today I’ll start with myself.  Grew up poor, no self-esteem and felt unloved by my father who thought the horse races were much more important than taking me to the doctor when I was really sick. Sitting on that bus with my mom (dad had left for the races), a seed was planted in me that said, “You are of no real value, not even as important as a horse.  You don’t deserve the love and care of a man either.”  The fear of failure, rejection and abandonment had their long claws deep within my side as I grew into a mature adult.  My life was spent in destructive behavior, quitting everything I started, multiple jobs and bad relationships, being a battered wife (twice), with drugs and drinking to forget who I was.  Later when I asked God to please take over, I still didn’t think I was good enough and continued many of the same destructive patterns for several more years before I let Him love me.  Meanwhile, I was commuting to take care of ill, elderly parents.  Living with the loss of my son for most of his life growing up (which caused constant guilt and self-condemnation that made me even more destructive).  Losing a good husband to cancer who had come into my life between abusive marriages. Through it all, God had a plan for me to win the Mrs. Nebraska pageant although my husband was dying. It was excruciating.  Exactly a year after being in the Mrs. America pageant, I ended up on missions in Haiti, a widow covered with bug bites and sleeping on a rock floor.  It was the worst of times and the best of times because of the lessons I learned.  That story is at http://www.transformationacademy.com/?page_id=155.   After  living most of my life as a fearful “reject,” I now live my life helping others with that magical epiphany that says, “You are valuable, a pearl of great price, and you deserve only the best that life has to offer!”

So, believing that I “couldn’t” accomplish my life’s purpose was finally silenced.  There is no such word as “can’t” and nothing will tell me otherwise.  You CAN, no matter what has transpired.  It’s a new day!  Stay tuned for several true examples coming your way in these next two weeks! Tomorrow:  Wilma Rudolph, the Olympic gold medalist once crippled by polio.

Are you being refined in the fire?

For all of those who are now going “through a fire” in your life, here is a greater understanding and hopefully, valuable encouragement about getting victoriously to the “other side.” I recently read about how silver is refined and the painful process it goes through to get to the beautiful end of the process. We often go through a similar process but don’t realize Who is safely taking us through.    

Malachi 3:3 says: ‘He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.’    This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God  and the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. 

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.  As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. 

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:  ‘ He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.’  She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.  The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. 

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, ‘How do you know when the silver is fully refined?’ He smiled at her and answered, ‘ Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.’    If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in youAnd, whatever they’re going through, they’ll be a stronger and more resilient person with a purpose in the end. 

‘Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.’   Thank you God, for teaching me to laugh again…… but please Lord, don’t ever let me forget that I cried.

Building Your Business: You Had Me At Hello

As you meet new clients and build new build new business relationships, be intent on presenting yourself in a positive manner, upbeat and confident about your work and life.  

Thinking of the new introductions you prepared (see previous blog), assess the results of your interactions.  How?  After you leave the event, think about how comfortable you were and how others responded to you.  Depending on how successful your conversations went, modify your introduction and stories accordingly.  Could you ask more questions about them and their businesses to keep the ball rolling in a more engaging conversation?

Next time you meet someone new and find out what they do (by those excellent listening skills of yours), you could

  • enhance your new relationship by giving them valuable suggestions which they could then use in their business.  This will also showcase your expertise.
  • refer them to other businesses that they would benefit from.  Giving referrals means you are carefully listening to them and want to help them grow their business.  It also opens the door for them to send business back your way, reciprocating your referral to their business.  Just make sure the referrals are “good” businesses with solid reputations.

Exercise:  Write out and practice how you will introduce yourself to a variety of individuals from various industries. _______________

Go get ’em!

For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, National Speaker, Communications, Image and Presentations Coach, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 rita@transformationacademy.com, www.transformationacademy.  Follow Rita on FaceBook: Rita Rocker;   Twitter: @Rita_Rocker       LinkedIn: http://budurl.com/ayjl;     YouTube: RitaRockerSpeaks,   http://womenforhire.com/career_experts/rita_rocker, http://www.presentationgym.net/training/coach_bio/21

Preparing for Friendly Networking Conversations

Are you comfortable initiating conversations with people you have never met when you are at networking events?  How about preparing ahead of time?

First off, do a self-assessment, know what is interesting about yourself and share it!  YES, you have many interesting (business appropriate) things to share!

Whether accomplishments, appropriate family stories they can relate to, or humorous, suitable anecdotes  that can flow from you naturally, prepare some friendly conversation topics ahead of time to share with those you meet.  Adjust your level of formality depending on who you are talking to, their type of business, and type of product or service you are offering.  Talking to a mechanic about new equipment requires a different wardrobe, level of formality in speech, and type of stories to share than when meeting the CEO of a financial firm. 

Exercise:  What specifically you are doing, or have done, that will make you interesting? engaging? or that validates your experience, knowledge and why you stand above your competition? _________________________________________.  Take time to really think about this. Give yourself credit where credit is due!!

How can you be as descriptive as possible?  Here is an example:  Which one of these phrases gets your attention? “I sell insurance” or “I can give you a some powerful examples of where the insurance plans I designed for my clients saved them from disaster and provided a comfortable financial cushion later on.”

Work out your descriptions until they flow, sound confident and depict the true nature of your business and your capabilities!

For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, National Speaker, Communications, Image and Presentations Coach, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 rita@transformationacademy.com, www.transformationacademy.  Follow Rita on FaceBook: Rita Rocker;   Twitter: @Rita_Rocker       LinkedIn: http://budurl.com/ayjl;     YouTube: RitaRockerSpeaks,   http://womenforhire.com/career_experts/rita_rocker, http://www.presentationgym.net/training/coach_bio/21

Rule of Thumb Small Business Conference

Rule of Thumb Conferences (see details below).  I will be presenting on how to market yourself successfully in the  business world, including your personal presentation skills, networking, business communications and professional protocol.  The wealth of information you receive can be used immediately and will last a lifetime.  Make a positive, powerful impact in your career and relationships by attending this inspiring and educational event!  My new Rule of Thumb book on Successfully Marketing Yourself in the Business World will be available for purchase as a continuous reference to success.   http://rule-of-thumb.biz/conference-agenda

Image Versus Technical Skills

Our appearance reveals a lot about our self-image.  To business prospects, a “pulled together,” polished appearance says that we are more responsible, organized and capable than those who are not.  If people see that we take pride in our appearance, they are more likely to assume that we ALSO take pride in “OUR” work and “THEIR” business as well.

Bottom line, we not only need solid technical skills, excellent products and services for new and continued business opportunities,  good soft skills are critical for taking us where we want to go in life and in business.

Exercise:  To be the “complete package” that will stand out above my competition, I would like to add, change or grow into the following:  _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stay tuned, more great growth tips coming up!!

For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, National Speaker, Communications, Image and Presentations Coach, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 rita@transformationacademy.com, www.transformationacademy.  Follow Rita on FaceBook: Rita Rocker;   Twitter: @Rita_Rocker       LinkedIn: http://budurl.com/ayjl;     YouTube: RitaRockerSpeaks,   http://womenforhire.com/career_experts/rita_rocker, http://www.presentationgym.net/training/coach_bio/21

What are the benefits of a positive, confident “presence”?

How many benefits do you think a positive and confident “presence” can provide?  Here are three examples:  It can

  • increase your number of sales, thus growing your business
  • expand your network because you appear more approachable, capable and believable
  • generate more enthusiasm in others to partner with you in your business ventures

 Exercise:  Write down what can you do with your body signals to appear more friendly, confident and capable?   ________________

Then have a trusted friend or coworker record your presentation or introduction on your cell phone.  What do you like and what would you like to change?  We learn so much by actually watching our mannerisms, body signals and how we speak in public.  The time you take to practice will reap powerful benefits!

For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, National Speaker, Communications, Image and Presentations Coach, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 rita@transformationacademy.com, www.transformationacademy.  Follow Rita on FaceBook: Rita Rocker;   Twitter: @Rita_Rocker       LinkedIn: http://budurl.com/ayjl;     YouTube: RitaRockerSpeaks,   http://womenforhire.com/career_experts/rita_rocker, http://www.presentationgym.net/training/coach_bio/21

You Are Worth Your Weight in Gold!

Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce and Bently don’t have commercials? REASON: They know the value of their product brings customers to them. LESSON: When you know your value, you don’t have to beg people to like you, to be your mate, to spend time with you, or to Love you. Be confident in who you were made to be. Everyone can’t afford the LUXURY of your companionship!

“Formulating” a Positive Impression

Whether we meet others for the first time or the tenth, it is essential to project a confident, friendly demeanor that says, “I want to build (or continue to build) a mutually rewarding relationship with you.”   Remember, we only have one chance to make a good first impression.

Exercise:   Think about what others do to make a good impression on you.  Although you must still be yourself and not mimic someone else’s behaviors, reflect on what other successful people do to make a great first impression that you would be comfortable doing.   They _____________________. 

 What would you like to do to be even more impressive in your first encounters?  Take some time to list as many characteristics as you can think of.  _______________. 

Take into consideration that by watching a job candidate or business prospect’s body signals, you can discern

  • how confident and assertive, or shy and uncomfortable, they (or you) could be  
  • whether they come across as obnoxious, personable and confident, are shy or feel inferior (fill in the blank with what you observe)

 EXERCISE:  Consider how your attitude, energy and appearance are formulating a particular impression in the mind of the one you are speaking with. 

  • What kind of “vibes” are you giving off in these areas? 
  • What have you observed in yourself up until now?
  • What can a “trustworthy” close friend or confidante tell you? 

Write out your next step, you would like to do that with a little practice can become natural for you and then…”Work it!” 

For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, National Speaker, Communications, Image and Presentations Coach, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 rita@transformationacademy.com, www.transformationacademy.  Follow Rita on FaceBook: Rita Rocker;   Twitter: @Rita_Rocker       LinkedIn: http://budurl.com/ayjl;     YouTube: RitaRockerSpeaks,   http://womenforhire.com/career_experts/rita_rocker, http://www.presentationgym.net/training/coach_bio/21

 

Self Perception. How Does It Impact Your Success?

How many opportunities do we lose out on because we don’t perceive ourselves as good enough, competitive enough, educated enough, clothed nicely enough…you can fill in the blank. 

Do you send out the message to others that YOU are the one they want to do business with because YOU are the best?

Ask yourself:  What is one area that I would like to change as far as the perception I am giving to others?  Could it be:

  • getting in better shape so I feel and appear more energetic to handle my client’s business needs? 
  • working on simple body language changes such as a more confident handshake with erect posture, good eye contact and a few changes in grooming to show I take good care of myself, therefore, I will take equally good care of them? 

Exercise:  Stop!  What would make you “feel” more confident, organized and ready to take on the big guys?

Take some time to really examine this area.  What do you see?  ________.   Stay tuned for more tips to work your magic!

For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, National Speaker, Communications, Image and Presentations Coach, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 rita@transformationacademy.com, www.transformationacademy.  Follow Rita on FaceBook: Rita Rocker;   Twitter: @Rita_Rocker       LinkedIn: http://budurl.com/ayjl;     YouTube: RitaRockerSpeaks,   http://womenforhire.com/career_experts/rita_rocker, http://www.presentationgym.net/training/coach_bio/21