What’s Your Strategy? Before you begin the discussion, do some soul searching and line up all the facts. It is important to remove the emotions and deal with “issues.”
Identify each issue and work through the following:
1. What happened? Identify all points made, comments and reactions from all parties.
2. What feelings did it bring up that we now need to deal with? (Anger, hurt, rejection, feeling like their opinion doesn’t matter)
3. What aspect of my self-identity (or theirs) may have been attacked? (their creativity, my communication skills, someone’s feeling of worthiness or value)
Determine what you want to accomplish in the conversation:
1. You want an apology? Are you willing to admit any ways that you might have fueled the fire? Do you have specific facts laid out and how it made you “feel?” As human beings, we can’t always “check our feelings at the door.” Not all adults have the ability to do this in all situations.
2. The other person to understand your point of view? Create a clear picture of how you see the issue and WHY. Also, you must be willing to step into their shoes in order to see it from both sides. We often don’t like to take the time to do this or don’t want to do this because “after, we’re right,” eh?
3. You just want the problem solved? Who, what, where, when and how can the issue be resolved? Do you need more help? Do they need more authority or tools?
Taking the time to answer these questions can lead to a much quicker and more cooperative resolution, gain respect, empower others, and increase morale. Stay tuned in our next blog for Part 2: Seeing All Sides of the Story for the Most Effective Resolution.
For more information on a seminars or personal coaching, contact Rita Rocker, Chief Communications and Image Officer, Transformation Academy, 402-968-3250 firstname.lastname@example.org, www.transformationacademy.
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