Everything we want is because we believe it will make us feel the way we desire: good, or at least better. Everything. And this is why desire has a bad reputation. Some even believe that desire is the root of suffering. This is true, but only if you define desire as “wanting something you don’t have.” Yes, that would feel like suffering. So, when we desire something, why does that feeling of “wanting” feel bad? Because we believe we must obtain certain wanted conditions in order to feel the way we want… this object of desire is required to feel good and its absence is a glaring obstacle to feeling the way we want. But it’s not true. We have the ability to feel the way we want without needing any of the conditions. If we redefine the idea of desire, into “an experience of enjoying the excitement of dreaming” rather than an experience of longing, then desire becomes a powerful ally!
The beauty is that we can experience the UNcondition—the mental-emotional existence of our desire—before it ever manifests.
There are two ways to experience the UNcondition of your dreams, and feel good NOW. The first strategy is to identify how the desire would make you feel. Then, do or think about ANYTHING that will elicit that same feeling. Since the whole reason you want that condition in the first place is the way it will make you feel, why not just feel that way now? There’s no reason for you to wait. Stop putting off feeling good until this, that, or the other things happens. Stop telling yourself “I’ll be happy when…”. No, you won’t. You’ll either choose to be happy NOW, in this moment, or you won’t. When you get “there”, you’ll be faced with the same choice.
The other way to experience the UNcondition is to literally experience your dream NOW. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and real life. Make your imagined dream real enough and it’s, literally, just like it’s happening now—real-life emotions and all. Again, you want it because of the feeling, right? Visualize yourself being there, experiencing your desire. Imagine what it feels like, looks like, sounds like. What are you wearing? Who is there with you? Are there smells in the air? Sensations in your body? Go there now. No waiting. No using your unfulfilled desire as your excuse not to feel good.
Write down the key areas of your life (or go back over the goals you’ve already identified): ON THE NEXT PAGE
- COLUMN 1: Describe how/what you want them to be like.
- COLUMN 2: Ask yourself WHY you want each of these dreams above? What is the emotion you want to experience? Write down at 5-10 FEELINGS you believe you will have when they are what you want.
- Look through your lists of feelings and circle the ones that are either the most common among your lists or are the most important to you. These core emotions are the UNcondition you are desiring. They’re feelings, not conditions you believe you need in order to feel them.
- I want FINANCIAL sufficiency and abundance. WHY? To FEEL comfort, secure, certain, free, at ease/relaxed, excited, inspired, care free.
- I want HEALTH. Why? To FEEL limitless, choice, alive, vibrant, care free.
- I want to TEACH. Why? To FEEL engaged, on purpose, excited, connected, contribution.
- I want healthy FAMILY relationships. Why? To FEEL at peace, in acceptance, balanced, self-honoring, connected, appreciative.
- I want to TRAVEL. Why? To FEEL adventure, learning, appreciative, aliveness, relaxation, excitement, richness.
- I want LEISURE/ Why? To FEEL fun, alive, excitement, joy, stimulated, novelty, relaxed.
|AREA||HOW/WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE||EMOTIONS/FEELINGS|
Joeel & Nataile are co-founders of Transformation Academy®, where they train leading-edge entrepreneurs, leaders and life coaches how to master their mindset and create a purpose-driven business. They have started more than a dozen businesses, and trained over 500,000 coaches from 200_ countries and territories. Joeel is a former psychology professor with a Master’s Degree in Counseling and Education is currently completing his dissertation on eudaemonic happiness for a Ph.D. in Psychology.